Better

I had a moment of sheer panic today when I was looking at check 1020 made out to the handyman and so was the bank and their check read $100 more than  mine.  Then out of nowhere I discovered I'd inadvertently ordered duplicated numbers on my checks and there were 2 1020 checks written to the handyman.

I bought new locks and will install them in the morning.  Just what I want to do at 4 am, but I'm supposed to be in bed now and I'm nothing if not compliant.  And the thing does need done before I go tomorrow so I don't worry.

Surprisingly my trust isn't as shaken as I thought.  I'm going to contact the local church to see if anyone is interested, maybe a high school kid.  As soon as that check is cashed and I can see the signatures I am ready to write an email ending his employment.  I know what it will say:  simply that I'm sorry that he felt he needed to take money, that I would have been happy to help him out had he asked, and that after this and the multiple no-shows particularly on something I'd told him had a very specific deadline I have no choice but to not offer him more work.  If he does cash the check I'll probably tell him that I am not reporting him to the police and that he should take that as the one time life will give him grace on such a thing, and that asking for help is much higher than stealing what isn't his.   Worded differently, but that's the point.  For that matter he could have EARNED that money in no time; the mailbox job was maybe an hour of work.  And had he asked I could have come up with a few more jobs similar to that.   Instead he has now cost me one evening of upset, time I have to still spend going through my banking and making sure nothing in my house is missing; $70 of new locks and a simple alarm system because I have every intention of scaring him if he thinks he's coming in here, and time and effort to install those locks.  Not that I wanted to do anything else anyway...........

The thing is that overall, I'm starting to do well again, although I'm exhausted.  I had a friend confide some scary stuff that had been being kept from me so I wouldn't get upset and I was able to gently tell the friend that I don't need protection anymore as hard as that is to adjust to.  I did confront my mother yesterday, even though it didn't go well.  The regional person who assesses documentation said that mine was so good the only problem was that sometimes I document too much (carryover from nursing homes I suspect) and that's an awesome compliment.  And I have a sweet kitty curled up in arms while I write and another laying on my side, and that's a pretty good life.