Before I start with my crap, yesterday I listed various people in my life with a lot going on. Please keep praying, and add in one person who just needs prayer.
If anyone is keeping track, and I hope you aren't, I have now been awake for 30 hours. I haven't gotten tired although I have calmed down a bit. I have some medication options from Dr. Brain but since I need to drive and have to get sleepy sometime and don't want it to be while driving.
I did figure out why I couldn't sleep. Those few hours I was out and busy yesterday were way more sensory input that I've had in a long time. I've certainly been in them but it's been a few weeks since I handled much of it well. This morning (and this is hard to describe) I was actually feeling like all the noises from yesterday, noises I never noticed, were loudly banging around in my brain. Every little noise outside, like wind or a car or whatever had me reaching for headphones but none lasted long enough to need them. I'm going to stop and buy earplugs today so that I can try to avoid noise that way. I used to carry them around all the time for this reason but haven't needed them for many years.
What scares me the most is I feel fine.I know I didn't sleep until at least 5 am and I don't remember sleeping then but I may have slept/dozed and hour or two. I remember trying then.
Oh well, tonight the full arsenal will be trialed if needed. If I knock myself out well, I don't have plans until Tuesday night. We won't go into my thoughts on the fairness of this, just when I needed to BUILD confidence not knock it down. On the other hand I know it was 1) sensory overload to an extreme 2)an honest misestimate of my super powers 3)maybe some akasthesia 4)severe, extreme, horrible anxiety. In fact at 2 I got up and went and organized bills so that I could stop obsessing about them. Didn't help, but my bills will be paid when I go to the post office. Today was the day I paid off one large medical bill. I am also 1 payment away from done with my washer/dryer (completed DURING the promotional rate!) and 2 payments from done with Sears card which is my something broke card. And I have 7 payments left on my last small student loan so hopefully that is done very soon. Don't be envious though. Once Cleveland Clinic figures out that I am NOT paying for thousands of dollars of things they never submitted to insurance I owe them a big chunk of money and I still have to do the carpet removal/new floor in my recently flooded basement. That means no tax money for the upstairs floors which REALLY need replaced for several reasons.
Anyway, I need to stare at my kitchen to see if anything sounds good. I probably then have to make a new batch of tuna salad, which does taste good. And I need to well, I forgot actually, but something.
Why did I title this math?????