Ok

My cat is ok.  My first guess was correct; the blisters are from liking and pulling out her hair.  No treatment needed unless she doesn't leave it alone.  Since I have yet to see her touch the area and only found it because I happened to pick her up with my finger in the right spot I think there's a good chance she'll be fine.  I also know that she no longer can handle being left for 2 days at a time.  I know she is just now starting to trust that I'm home for real and she just doesn't have the ability to put together gaps in her care anymore.  She probably worried endlessly about who was going to feed her.  And as my mother pointed out they've had me here with them nearly constantly for moths.

I survived my trip to the vet (it's 45 minutes each way) without issues.  The cat I took in today lived with me in Michigan and got used to riding in the car every 6 months or so for trips back to Ohio (and it was two of the furthest possible points to reach, so it was a long trip).  She actually really likes car trips.  She could do without the vet though.  Still, much better than the other, huge cat who is hard to get hold of.

What else?  My blood sugar. To be clear, because my antipsychotic is a factor, as I talk about this (or please God as I don't have anything to talk about), if this is happening it is not because of the antipsychotic as a first or second cause.  It often is but I've been watched so carefully since starting it and even more carefully since being on a high dose that I know other factors are more likely to be the trigger, if anything has triggered. My family history is so bad that a doctor before Dr. Body or even the heavier psych meds told me that I needed to be checked annually because I am unlikely to NOT become diabetic eventually.  As a result and because I have been on risky meds for a long time now I get tested frequently.  We've been even more careful since I developed the diabetes insipidus issue about 5 years ago (wow.  That flew) because it can mask the symptoms of real diabetes (hence the use of diabetes in the name, confusing computers that don't have rare diagnoses listed for years).   I have fasting sugars done a few times annually, non-fasting periodically, an A1C annually, free insulin this year, and I've had 3 years of knowing that I had a pretty high non-fasting sugar at just this time of year, leading to huge weight loss.  In the last 6 months I haven't felt well enough to eat healthily or exercise and so I gained weight.  And now much sugar is back up, more alarmingly to me because it is fasting that it is now an issue.  Also diabetes would explain the headache and upset stomach that I've been fighting for the last while and blaming on lithium.  I think it is still lithium but the hospital doctor thought it was too long. However, he has been warned by Dr. Brain about my weird metabolism of the magic salt but not seen it for himself so I'm not sure that he fully understands that "this isn't typical" is meaningless for me.  My level should be much higher than it has been in nearly 6 years and the symptoms are consistent with being on a higher dose after toxicity.  I'm hoping the sugar is just back to normal when retested.  I am prepared for it not to be but equally prepared for it to improve dramatically.  So the point was that the antipsychotic is about the 4th thing in line as the cause.  If I am diabetic it may be sooner than it would have happened, but not far in age from when my uncles and now cousins were diagnosed.  I do have to start losing weight.  However right now that will be more by eliminating things I shouldn't eat from the house and replacing them with better as I get out more.  I had meant to go to a store today until my mother mentioned how crazy it was yesterday evening because of people grabbing party supplies.  I had forgotten the date.

I think I mentioned being very sad because I ordered a picture of my mom's cat who died as kind of a memorial and then it didn't turn out well.  I actually got the picture while I was in the hospital and looked at it today.  Turns out that at first glance it isn't right but if you look very long you find that from the right perspective it is actually really good.  So I'm happy about that project and will give it to her tomorrow.  I'm wanting to go down to maximize time with Anne and my sister.  It all depends on panic attacks though.

I wish blogging or email counted for Dr. Mind.  They don't.  The purpose is getting out of the house every day and interacting.  Which is important at this stage of recovery from wanting to die because it means being engaged in the world as well as having a chance or breaking any bad thought loops rather than just lying here staring at nothing and repeating the bad thoughts in my head.  His reasoning is good.  My panic attacks are a good reason to not go when I am not feeling well as until I have meds that help I am needing about 2 hours of effort to recover from each one.

Oh, and if I say something weird, consider if I might have thought I was being funny.  I keep trying to make jokes and confusing people.  Apparently I'm not there yet.

Have wonderful and safe New Years'.