Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Genetics are genetics and some very cute little feet.

I've lived with fear for months that my sister's genetic disposition to mood disorders might affect her after the birth of my niece.  I've felt fear that my niece might wind up with the bad genes, although she is less likely than a child of mine would be.  I don't think in our family there is a "safe" from these genes.

As I've discussed from time to time I have a birthmark that is pretty significant in size and coloration.  I also have what I suspect is a birthmark on my kidney, although that is not medically confirmed; we only know I have a vascularized area growing on my kidney and that it bleeds.  Although the kind I have is not allegedly genetic, my sister also has one which is much less significant and generally only somewhat visible and easily covered by basic foundation (it's basically a typical newborn stork bite that never faded, making it a real birthmark).

Well, I had wondered about that from time to time.  I figured that the baby had  a higher risk of birthmarks, and she does have a large stork bite that I'm suspicious will turn out to be partially portwine stain, just like her mother and I.  I forgot to think about all the other things babies can have.  And there is a chance that she has something which is not terrible, but which may impact her life in a way you don't want to think of for a 10 day old. The doctor wants scans, but it's not urgent or anything, just nerve-wracking to think of.
Regardless, please pray for these itty bitty feet and all that is attached to them. (that is my "normal" hand and the side of the birthmarked one that has splotches to small to show in this blurry picture).
Regardless, please pray for these itty bitty feet and all that is attached to them.  (Picture to come down soon, so enjoy while it lasts).


Michal Ann said...

Precious precious hands and feet. I will pray.

You are holding the baby in a way that shows your tremendous love for her. Trust her to the one who made her. PLEASE read Psalm 139.

Just Me said...

I actually was holding her as she dictated. She wasn't 36 hours old, but she knew what she wanted. After the breech position for what we suspect was an extremely long time she (still and then) wanted her soles of her feet to touch something at all times. She also wanted to be rocked a certain direction, and if I changed she'd wake enough to squeak, then go back to sleep. That's actually how that picture came to be, about 20 pictures of us were taken and of them 2 came out and one of those is only of her lovely little face. The others were blurred by rocking her. That is a tiny piece of a picture that after judicious editing (ie removing my entire body, messing with color, adding blurring, and changing to black and white) I absolutely love (and pray is actually clear in the wallet size I ordered), but it was the only part of that picture that was worth having. On the other hand there is an AWESOME picture of us which I wish I could post here because the look on my face says everything about how I felt and all the anxiety and fear is gone and instead there is just pure Aunt Jen love, through and through. After being so afraid of crying when I met her seeing that goofy smile makes me wish I'd never bothered to worry, even though the reality is that the worry was more related to other things that Anne has made me deal with, her first gift to her aunt. Those things now can be dealt with in therapy and I can just love her without the baggage that wasnt REALLY related to that little girl.

Psalm 139 makes me laugh every time. I am and have always been comically HORRIBLE at memorizing Bible verses. I have no clue why, until my illness I had a near photographic memory and even now I remember nearly anything that I see in print easily. But Bible verses never came at all easily to me. One year they were offering a prize for memorizing various parts of scripture, naming the 12 Apostles, etc. I wanted the prize so badly and I tried soooooooooo hard. Psalm 139 was one that about did me in. I memorized and memorized and memorized and recited wrong and recited wrong and recited wrong. Later in college my last semester when I was frighteningly depressed one of the 4 classes I did not drop was New Testament, which my best friend and I had decided to take together for fun, because the professor was awesome, and because it would be easy. By senior year at our school any introductory Bible class was considered a cake walk and this was a wildly popular course because there weren't a ton of relatively easy electives to choose from just because of the size of the school. Now, I was incredibly depressed and barely managing anything. But every single day I pulled out the assignment for that day, read the part of the NT, read the book explaining the assigned reading, and also the Bible study like thing that accompanied it. In contrast my best friend pretty much winged it. We had quizzes every week or so for about 10 pts. Every week I diligently reviewed all I had read and the notes I had taken. Every week I got about an 80% and my friend got 100%. Because anyone could have gotten 100% on those quizzes. Except me.

I don't know why.....:)