Seeing her was wonderful. I held her and she fell asleep immediately, fussing only if I stopped rocking her or changed how I was moving her. She is gorgeous.
Her name is very unusual. For reasons known only to me I will be calling her Anne on this blog. If you are able to guess from that (and I want to know if you can because if you can make the obscure connection you just became an awesome person in my eyes, but email me, don't guess in the comments), please email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Anne is actually very chubby but very short. Even as a close to 9 lb. baby she still fits easily into newborn clothing. She is the perfect size to hold and love. She's a nursing champion and fusses occasionally but it's usually only because she wants to nurse.
My sister looks pale and tired, but you'd never guess she was just pregnant with a large baby. She is going through a lot of anger and frustration with the medical birth after wanting absolutely the opposite, but she also has her beautiful little girl.
In most ways Anne is a carbon copy of my sister, right down to the exact same stork bite. That actually concerns me a little, as I think it is large for stork bite and my sister's "stork bite" isn't really that as it never fully faded. Genetically siblings are highly unlikely both have portwine stain, but my sister and I do, although mine is much more substantial. I don't want my little niece to have to deal with any kind of birthmark, even if it is as light as her mom's. My sister certainly never had hers noticed or considered a difference, but that was partially because everyone who knew her knew me and like I said, contrasting my 50plus% of my hand and wrist and areas of arm to a small pale pink area that only really shows when my sister is mad or hot is not the same.
Anyway, what I wrote the other night was so true that I'm printing it to take to Dr. Mind. Anne isn't the source of the pain. She's just what I wish for. I haven't cried about her and that is good.
On the other hand, I'm home sick today. I used to get UTIs very frequently, so frequently that I kept test strips at home and when I felt one might be bad enough to need treatment I tested. If it was positive, and it usually was, I called Dr. Body for antibiotics. I had so many for a while we didn't even treat them all. I've not had one since I went off the old antidepressant last fall. So even though I noticed my urine was smelly and dark for a few days I didn't think anything more than "lithium change". Then last night on the way home from meeting Anne (something I was so careful to avoid infecting her with work germs that I showered, shampooed, and sprayed my shoes and ankle brace with Clorox Any Surface disinfectant) I started feeling horrible, but attributed that to the dog waking me at 2:30 AM and it was 10:30 PM. I thought I had a migraine. That is, until I woke to pee every 12 minutes and started having serious back pain and burning and bladder pain. I can't keep my fever down, and I"m about to go get antibiotics when I finish typing this. Thankfully Dr.Body didn't make me go see him even though I"m sicker than usual and haven't had one of these in months. I love Dr. Body. It doesn't help that for the last couple years I've been allowed one dose of advil daily b/c my lithium level was so low, and now I feel bad and can't take it anymore. Oh well.
I need to go get those meds. More later. But the good thing is, I'm sick, but I'm ok.