Not participating

I imagine a lot of people want to read thankful blogs this week.  And while I am very thankful for many things and am very well aware of the miracles I've had happen in my life in the last year, I am also struggling.  Last weekend when I thought I was going to be hospitalized I felt a secret relief in that at least in the hospital I wouldn't feel so isolated.  But that didn't happen, THANKFULLY (see, I'm capable even though I'm not emphasizing it this year) and quarantined. So tomorrow I'm trying to keep as normal as I can for a day off.  I'm not sure how else to cope.

I'm very excited right now as I got home and decided I just had to try out knocking down the walls of that basement room.  OK, can we say FUN!  I wore a particulate aspirator and goggles so I look like a huge bug (I may take a picture) and so my lungs were protected and about 1/4 of that wall (plasterboard at least) is gone.  Soooooooooo stress relieving.  Dr. Mind will be happy I didn't find this one until now; I think when he first knew me he was convinced I would one day rip apart my entire house including things like walls when I was manic.  Not manic now, just dying ot know what I took on.  I can do this.  I have to read how to take down non-weighbearing studs, but it can't be too hard.

Anyway, I had a long day.  Because I'm a new employee for a job I've been doing 6 months I'm having to do new employee training that can include things I've been doing 6 months.  I spent an awful hour this afternoon "learning" how to operate the computer program that I have used every day since June 1.  One of the test questions included pictures of several buttons, including one that said "edit patient" and asked which button you'd click to edit a pt's profile.  It also taught you how to scroll up and down and how to click to fill in radio buttons.  It was the longest hour of my entire life, or so it seemed.  And there's a million more of them to do......

I have to set up my breathing treatment before I fall asleep.  That's the real reason I started beating on walls; I needed to wake up a bit.

More tomorrow I'm sure...