tired

I'm getting more exhausted by the day.  It's the combination of work, not falling asleep early enough, not feeling great, and depression.  Not the best mix.  I'm not hearing back from Dr. Brain even though I have request in for more meds to help me sleep and feel better.  Getting frustrated with her; I've been emailing for 3 weeks now.

Dr. Body offered me an antibiotic for what he assumes was a secondary infection I shouldn't have been able to fight off last week but did, sort of.  I think though that part of my tired is that I didn't fully fight it off, I have a sinus infection, but how do you know when your throat has been red and sore for so long you can't remember otherwise, you always have thick gunk in your throat, and you haven't felt well in so long that you barely remember a month of time.  So I asked if I could try it on the basis that we know I always get sinus infections if things are clogged, I can't do the one natural treatment for that I usually do (sinus rinse bottle) because I wouldn't be able to breathe from the pertussis crud in my throat, and I'm willing to do anything to get over this.

I told him I fought off the fever and the rest just by prayer.  I was so afraid of trying to get an urgent care doctor (known no matter where I go for putting me down and not believing me because of my bipolar diagnosis) to believe that I even have had pertussis, much less that anything was wrong beyond that and that no, I couldn't take what they wanted to give me most of the time.  I could just see them deciding I was paranoid and making up rare illnesses.  Pink slip on a platter (that's involuntary committment for those who don't have to know these things).  I think  secondary infection is what is keeping me so wiped out.  It may even be keeping me awake as I still have trouble clearing all the crud.

I was going to post pictures but I just might be falling asleep so I'm going to see if  that's real.  Please God, 6 hours of sleep sounds amazing.