Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Monday, August 22, 2011

The last post before surgery

I am to be at the hospital at 7:30 AM tomorrow, having taken 2 showers with antibacterial soap with particular emphasis on a clean belly button (one of the incisions goes there).  Shower one is planned for about 20 minutes from now.  I am fighting to stay awake (of course, after not sleeping for 2 weeks I finally want to sleep when I need to stay up to eat one last time before surgery.)  Shower two is in the morning.  I don't know what time surgery actually is; I assume around 9 or 10 probably.

I'm amazingly calm; I've waited so long to get this fixed.  I just pray there is something to fix.

Everything is in order otherwise; I have a bag of things for my mom to bring to me once I'm admitted to a room. My house is clean and has nice, clean upstairs carpeting.  The flooded basement carpet reeks.  I emptied 3 gallons of water from the dehumidifiers  in 6 hours today.  Even then there is a lot of drying to go.  I even rearranged my bedroom slightly.  Everything has been in the same place in there since Dr. Mind made me rearrange things 5 years ago when he was trying to physically wear me out with forced long walks and this furniture moving thing.  It took a while for me to get a sense of humor about this; he told me some thing about changing where I slept would change my nightmares but later admitted to the attempt at exhausting me.  It did work and I slept better from the time all that moving was done (which coincided with weighted blanket #1 being started, which is probably the real reason but we'll ignore that part.)

Mostly I just want to be at this point tomorrow.  I have everything I can control under control, and what I can't control I can't control.  Lack of control is far and away the hardest part of this; I mean really, tomorrow someone is going to knock me out, cram various cameras into various orifices, create NEW orifices and cram things in those, then stick me in a bed and hopefully explain what has been so wrong.

It's too much to really think about.

But tomorrow morning, please say a prayer for the surgeons and anesthesiologists and the psych team who have to work together to manage a very complicated situation.

I'll post when I get home.  That's probably Wednesday, possibly Thursday, depending how I do, if they can manage my pain easily, etc.

Miss you all.


Anonymous said...

I'm on your side, Jen. You and your team are in my prayers. I'm eagerly anticipating your next post.

Hugs, Michal

Anonymous said...

I've been praying for you off and on all day, Jen. May great blessings come your way as you make it through this ordeal.

Numbers 6:24-26
New King James Version
“The LORD bless you and keep you;

The LORD make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;

The LORD lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.”’

In Jesus' love, Michal