Dr. Mind doesn't think I can do this for 3 more weeks either. Dr. Brain is out of town, but I'm under strict orders to talk to her ASAP. I'm definitely showing signs of mixed crap, I'm apparently appearing rather miserable (which is an accurate reflection of how I feel), and I am needing too much ativan and still being agitated. I think hospitalization is imminent, probably within the next week. I honestly don't know how I'm going to be feeling, so I'm not going to promise to be posting much the next few days. I'm so unbelievably tired and emotionally drained. At the minimum I will try to email the blog if I'm admitted, and I'm also going to give Julia the password so she can post for me if that happens. I'm starting to understand that I may not care enough to say much at that time. This could be way worse, but it's starting to scare me.
Julia, I'll try to email you in the morning. Jen, who posted a wonderful comment below, thank you. You are very right, and working some of this out is going to have to be part of my life when I can think again.
Otherwise, i'm going to go to bed now. I think I ate enough to qualify as something and when I finish my juice I then just have to do my relaxation tape and drift off.
What a long, long day and tomorrow isn't going to be pretty either.