I am a very patient person. I don't get upset by most things that happen in my typically chaotic days, at least not things caused by patients. I get more upset by staff who don't do what they should do, but in general I can handle that with deep breaths. I am less able to handle my assistants doing crappy work. Generally I'm ok with explaining how I want things and with putting up with variations, but I also expect basic things. I need to be able to read documentation and know what exactly is done with the patients. I need to be able to read it without resorting to drawing lines, which I actually had to do today. I expect it to be done when I need it. One day late is one thing, many days late is another, especially when the assistant knows I'm coming to see that patient and need to be able to make clinical judgments from that information.
One of my assisants is making me want to scream. I've tried to be patient. I've tried to be directive. I've tried illustrating precisely what I want. Instead she doesn't even fill in a grid of goals and status correctly, she doesn't do things that a first semester student knows to do, and no matter how many times I ask her to do things a certain way, with reasons, she ignores me. I inevitably have to spend time off the clock working on things she's left undone. It makes me so mad, and nobody has really supported me. Once she changed something to make it look as if I'd made a mistake, then she admitted this to me but not to her boss who made me do the work on my own time.
She's going to be very angry with me Monday. And I'm getting less and less interested in keeping her happy. It's my mood, but it's going only get harder. I don't know what is wrong with people. She admitted to me once she does this for money. I'd said something about taking the path I'm on now with the contract work as a way to increase my income for a while (contract work pays really well), and she told me that money is the only reason to do this. That is so very wrong. Therapy is a relatively lucrative field, and geriatric therapy pays a lot more than other areas, but you have to want to do what I do or you are rotten. Patients know.
I used to express frequently my frustration that people who have no reason to feel crappy all the time do crappy work and put forth a minimal effort while I work as hard as I can just to be able to keep doing this a little longer because I love it. That feeling is starting to re-emerge as I'm having to work harder to do what I need to do.
And now I'm going to celebrate Friday night with a traditional depressed activity: I'm going to bed at 9 pm.