Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

So, so anxious

The next stage of this decline is here. I've been anxious, nearly constantly, for weeks now. But this has now progressed. Suddenly I'm needing ativan to function. And not just occasional ones. Yesterday I took 2 and should have taken 3. It's hard to believe I can be so agitated and yet so very sleepy. But I am. I relaxed some when I saw Dr. Mind, but it didn't last long after I left the "safe place". And partly that was because we're methodically watching this and it has now reached a point where it's time to develop a safety plan, in case. I hate that; it's just a sign of how really bad this kind of is.

I still haven't heard from Dr. Brain. I'm about to give up. Apparently I'm not going to know anything until I see her again on the 31st and then I'll have a few days to adjust.

I think I've reached enough clothes. Since this is hardly formal I've decided to just wear the shirts I've got if I need to, even if they are too large. Who really cares?

Otherwise I've got a cat telling me how much she loves me and how I shouldn't leave her to go to work, I've got another 4 minutes on the SAD lamp, and I then will have 15 minutes to iron clothes, put on make-up, brush my hair and teeth, and get to the dentist. Yippee. (Although is IS good that they got me in. I had to cancel my appointment because of the hospital and go on the waiting list and that worked very quickly).

Have a good day.

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