As I've been talking about incessantly for months now, I have been losing weight. Since January I have now lost 44 lbs. My goal is to get to 50 by the end of the year. At the rate I'm losing lately that will be more like by Thanksgiving.
This is wonderful. I'm healthier, I look so much better, I've got more energy, etc. But one thing nobody tells you about losing that kind of weight: It is EXPENSIVE. In January I wore a size 20 pants and 1X to 2X shirts. I now wear size 14 pants (12 in the jeans I just bought), and size XL to Large tops. For a time I transitioned from my regular clothes to scrubs. Those no longer fit, and before I started this job in August I bought new clothes. They fit then. I've then had to buy long-sleeve blouses, new pajamas, clothes for the hospital, new jeans (which I had to go to buy wearing jeans 4 sizes too big because they were all I had), etc. And now that I have enough pretty much? I haven't been hungry thanks to the med thing, and I'm down another pants size. Which means that my work pants lasted a whopping 2 months. I've been trying to ignore it because I simply have used my clothes budget for a very long time, but today I realized I don't have a choice. In the next week or two I have to get new pants. I'm trying to hold out because I'm probably approaching a size 12, and I don't want to spend the money on 14s which are likely already starting to get loose. But I also don't want to run around with my pants falling off.
It's really a small problem in the scheme of things. But my inability to cope with things is growing and this is gnawing at me. For now I'm hoping I can make it until I go to the hospital, and then I'll buy whatever size I need before I go back to work. I think I can make it 3 weeks. But truthfully that may be pushing it; I'm losing 2-3 lbs. per week right now and I doubt these will make it 6 more pounds.
And I have no ability to problem solve right now. And so I worry. Worry is very, very bad........