Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Saturday, October 24, 2009


Right now, yesterday and today, I just don't feel like saying much. That may change and probably will if I begin to feel nervous in the next day or so. For now though, I seem to be out of of thoughts.

Yesterday was tough. I got everything that needed to be done caught up at work. I was smart enough to admit that I wasn't going to eat what was ordered out for lunch and stuck to my soup. I talked to the admission person at the hospital; she was working on my insurance and having a hard time. Apparently it's unlikely to actually be preapproved for admission just on the basis of my doctor says so, instead I'll be approved after the hospital doctor says yes, I'm actually that badly off. I had a really hard time with giving her the info she needed about how I was feeling because I was deeply into "dealing with patients" mode and it's hard to go from that to "I feel horrible" while sounding like that, back to professional in 5 minutes.

I then came home and took enough ativan to really let me sleep soundly and that seems to still be wearing off. Plus I'm just tired. It was a tough week and emotionally draining. And I'm now decreasing my antidepressant fast; it isn't like it is actually doing anything and the sooner the better. So Dr. Brain said I could go down 10 mg last night and then 5 tonight and tomorrow. So that probably is adding to the tired.

So, I'm sure I'll write again today or tomorrow, but I don't seem to be feeling as talkative as usual, so if I'm not writing a ton that's why.

1 comment:

Michal Ann said...

I'm so glad you're resting as much as possible. Don't worry about finding more to say. It's enough just to give a little indication of how you're doing. Good job!

Anyone would be emotionally and physically exhausted by all you are doing! I'm amazed and so proud of you.

Remember if you need to get a song in the loop of your spirit, your mind and heart, I highly recommend this worship song...it's all scripture and repeats a very reassuring message over and over. It's been feeding me for days...such good listening.

"And when the oceans rage I don't have to be afraid...You stay the same through ages...Your love never changes...there may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning...You work all things together for my good...nothing can separate even if I ran away...you have new mercy for me every day...because I know that You love me... Love never fails."

Your Love Never Fails -Chris Quilala / Jesus Culture


You're in my thoughts and prayers. We took a walk together last night.

"Lord, when doubts fill my mind, when my heart is in turmoil, quiet me and give me renewed hope and cheer." Psalm 94: 19 TLB

In God's strong hands, love, Michal