There went my hopes

I have, as I've  been writing,  not been sleeping at all well.  Last night I decided I didn't care how aggressive I was, I was going to do whatever it took to both sleep and to feel groggy enough that I knew I'd sleep again.  I wound up taking 20% more Seroquel (more than I have ever taken except accidentally) plus increasing my valium 25% higher than the most I'm technically prescribed.  Although that's not great I am allowed to increase that kind of thing within reason.  But it has left me the way I hoped: sleepy.  However it also means adjusting a lot.  I'm not going to get to go see my niece tomorrow because I'm probably going to be groggy again.  That just irritates me.  I also am going to have to stay in the motel twice this week;  the night before my test and the night after (with the doctor the next day).  This is because I don't want to have to drive before all that medication wears off and my test is in the morning, although late morning.  I still didn't get to sleep until 4 but at least I've been too tired to do anything all day today and I'm hoping that if I take  my pills when I usually do that  this will start an actual sleep schedule.

I just hate the consequences of doing what I know is right.  If I go see my niece and don't sleep that's just adding to the messed up sleep.  If I try to drive for my test without enough sleep I risk hurting myself or others. Still, this isn't precisely what I had  in mind.Oh well.