Friday, September 02, 2011
To B/Outcomes of last night/I do not like being female
hanks for watching out for me. Yes, I can do what I can handle now, but since it appears I may be getting my period which is generally pretty painful post-op and being this early will be worse if that is truly the cause of the cramps from hell (the nurse didn't say it was overdoing and I did ask,although she said slight possibility) I won't be doing much today. I didn't even get out of the house because these are the kind of cramps to prevent that out of fear of social horrors. I hope they stop soon.
You're right about education. When things like this come up it hurts me because I want to just scream it out loud and I can't because it would be professionally stupid. This had a positive outcome; my cousin was very upset and not only talked to the daughter at fault extensively but also with her older daughters who have their own children about addressing this as she truly never thought her daughter, particularly THIS one, would do such a thing.
I really hope that by the end of my career, or even after I have retired, that I can work in mental health advocacy in some way. It's a very odd thing for me to want to do because my talents lie elsewhere, but at the same time I truly believe if people my age don't speak out the kids who are starting to live with this now will be like I was 21 years ago-diagnosed with depression, not treated because teens get depressed, and never even reassessed by a doctor or psychologist until college, followed by years of being afraid to let even those who treated me and I trusted see my mania (yet I didn't recognize it as such, such that sometimes I scared myself) and then they are 26 and in completely wrong professions for themselves but that they love. My life would be much easier had I picked a job that I had some different options that I have now, although the flexibility I have is pretty great. There are, however, better professions than OT for someone who is bipolar and probably better specializations than geriatrics but again, I did not know because nobody had yet guessed. Someday I want to work really hard to help take away some of that stigma, which is even more pronounced in Appalachian culture.
Until then I have to do everything the back way.
And now I need to get the heating pad going. I can't remember for sure if I can use it on my steri-strips but I think so and they could be off now, they just are really stuck and I don't want to pull until they are much looser. Today is the first day one has been loose at all. If not, maybe it will melt the surgical glue and help me get rid of them. I really want to SEE the incisicions. All I can see in my bellybutton is that the shape has changed and at least right now I am much closer to an outie than ever before. It's weird. But I scratch it so I have to keep it covered so I have no idea if that's a swelling thing or a real change.