I am still anxious beyond belief, but I've made a decision to take as much medication as I need, within what is prescribed and deal with the consequences of that later. But my mood has been just a little better.
I made myself join an online community where I can find others with Emsam.
I played with watercolors. (New hobby).
And I ate a few things that were different. Slightly, more variations on a few things I will eat, but with more textures. I haven't wanted textures; it's like chewing is too hard.
So, we'll see what happens next. But at least today was ok.