I've really been better this last few days. The depression is improving, I'm being very good at following a routine of relaxation, and my doctor finally found the right meds for the anxiety. The only problem was that the more you take of certain meds the more likely you are to fall. The hospital stuck a stupid bracelet on me that I was a fall risk, and since I got that bracelet my score probably has tripled. I'm on combinations of meds that nobody would ever approve for more than a little bit, and honestly I only get it because my dr. trusts me a lot. (ie I'm on 2 benzodiazipines (valium and Klonopin); a big dose of antipsychotic; a diuretic; and an MAOI). I think that's all my fall meds but it's a lot regardless.
So the last few days I've had it figured out exactly how to feel ok. I had the meds precisely timed and felt so much more able to cope. Right up until I took a header in the parking lot of the nursing home. I'm ok and very fortunate; I have a badly bruised knee and random bruises elsewhere and I'm going to really ache tomorrow, but the worst thing is that I'm now worried about taking the benzos. Which I then didn't take one dose, and I wound up so anxious I had trouble coping with bieng in a store and making simple decisions.
I'll fax Dr. Body in the morning and see if he's got ideas, but I think safety wise this is going to be a no.
I just want easy. Just once. I'm sorry for whining, but I feel like I've been through ENOUGH in the last 2 months and just tolerating the meds until I felt better (which I suspect is coming soon) is just not fair.
I'm also definitely having patch site reactions. I can clearly see the sites of the last 2 patches and one is a little itchy. I've tried many things; tonight is Balmex. But I need the dr. to give input there too. I HAVE to have this work......