Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Sunday, November 15, 2009


I'm pretty sure now that my mood is improving. The anxiety is not. But I've only cried twice? in the last 2 days, I have handled being outside of my home, and I'm actually a bit less tired. And I feel pretty ready for work. I'm praying that it's easier for the next couple weeks; sometimes it does let up a little bit just before holidays, then the day before is monsterous. Then from after Thanksgiving until January will be total chaos.

My new theory of anxiety is that if I'm anxious I take something, spacing out 2 hours as much as possible (but if something is not working and I feel worse in an hour I'm taking it then). I'm tracking all of this and will fax to the dr tomorrow, but if the only way I can be comfortable is to take a ton of meds, then so be it. I also need my thyroid checked. They lowered my dose a bunch in the hospital, and when I saw Dr. Body he said that it may not work because they looked at TSH, the normal indicator, and for me my TSH can be relatively ok but my T3 or T4 isn't. And I'm suddenly full of hypothyroid symptoms.

I bought a number of different things to try to better protect my skin from the patches. Of course I got home and my skin looks much better, but I'm prepared now. I'm going to operate under the assumption that the patch really dries out out my skin, so when it comes off an area that area gets lots of moisture. By the time I hit that site again it should be free of all moisturizer, assuming I bathe occasionally.

I got a new winter coat today. I had one I thought would make it at least until after Christmas, but when I put it on it was clearly 2 sizes too large. So I have a new one. Again. I just got one last January for my birthday, but that one is about 4 sizes too big, at least.

It's going to be weird to not be posting quite so much now after I go back to work. It's possible that the next few days are going to be totally exhausting, so don't be surprised if I don't say much. Previous return-to-work weeks have involved a lot of sleeping very early.

Anyway, tonight's plans include ironing and I'd better get on that. Ick, but I know it will help me get through this week.

1 comment:

Michal Ann said...

Hey lady! I'll try not to be "petulant" (good word!) but I hope you can find a minute to jot a line to your faithful readers.

It's wonderful that you'll be able to go back to work and I understand you'll need a lot of sleep. I know you'll be that much more sensitive and capable with your patients because of what you're experiencing with your own caretakers.

You've had some marvelous insights. I'm following closely as you try to unravel this tangled ball of yarn...if you can call a chemical soup "yarn." Your doctors really need to be excellent chemists. I stand in awe! More and more, neurology and psychology are biology, it seems. I'm glad you've met some new doctors in whom you have confidence.

Do you like your new coat? It is fun to be in a smaller size or not so much? Again, try thrift stores. A lot of people just get rid of perfectly great stuff as they diet or overshop of whatever. I have a soft black leather purse worth $300.00 and I paid $3!!

Sometimes people say that "the devil is in the details" but it's our GOD who is in the details. I started to dwell on Psalm 139 at my mother's death (eternal life) bed...and it's made such a difference to realize "Lo, I shall be with you always, even unto the ends of the earth." Some people don't want a "nosy" God but I quite like learning that:

1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.

This is the first 10 verses of Psalm 139 (New Living Translation).

What I say will certainly pass away but the Word of the Lord will stand forever. I trust you will find these living, active words dwelling in you and strengthening you!!

In God's mighty love, Michal