I've really struggled today. After my last post I took more ativan (so I took in about an hour what I usually take in a day) and slept for about 3 hours. Then I woke up and realized that I'm out of foods I can stand to eat. Mainly I am sticking to 2 or 3 foods still, and the soup that is my main food, which I'd made and frozen 3 big crockpotfuls of, is gone. So I went out and bought some food, concentrating on that soup. Before bed I'll start a crockpot full and then make another tomorrow and hopefully that will get me through the week. It's so hard to find things that appeal that don't have soy ingredients or cheese. So I'm deciding to just give in and eat the few things that are ok until something is more appealing.
I'm logging my use of anxiety meds and plan to fax that to my dr. about Wednesday. Since I'm taking all this and still am hideously anxious, he needs to know. I figured I'd get a couple days of working in there as well.
I just need reassurance that this is normal, and that it can be managed. That is the hardest thign I think, if I only could see her I suspect she could get the anxiety controlled. That is whereI need her knowledge so much. So, 17 days until I can call and I think probably I'll see her that week. Please God. I hope I can find words to tell her how amazing she is.