Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Friday, November 13, 2009

Not my best day

I've really struggled today. After my last post I took more ativan (so I took in about an hour what I usually take in a day) and slept for about 3 hours. Then I woke up and realized that I'm out of foods I can stand to eat. Mainly I am sticking to 2 or 3 foods still, and the soup that is my main food, which I'd made and frozen 3 big crockpotfuls of, is gone. So I went out and bought some food, concentrating on that soup. Before bed I'll start a crockpot full and then make another tomorrow and hopefully that will get me through the week. It's so hard to find things that appeal that don't have soy ingredients or cheese. So I'm deciding to just give in and eat the few things that are ok until something is more appealing.

I'm logging my use of anxiety meds and plan to fax that to my dr. about Wednesday. Since I'm taking all this and still am hideously anxious, he needs to know. I figured I'd get a couple days of working in there as well.

I just need reassurance that this is normal, and that it can be managed. That is the hardest thign I think, if I only could see her I suspect she could get the anxiety controlled. That is whereI need her knowledge so much. So, 17 days until I can call and I think probably I'll see her that week. Please God. I hope I can find words to tell her how amazing she is.

1 comment:

Michal Ann said...

Just the tiniest gentle suggestion that you consider seeking an appointment with another "Dr. Brain" in your wonderful doctor's absence. I've sometimes found that I got "pushed" toward a relationship or event that was beneficial even when I resisted change. In any case, I'd just like to see you have the opportunity to get more support at this time. (This is weird but as I was typing the word "opportunity" I heard it on t.v. news hich is running in the background.)


–noun, 1. an appropriate or favorable time or occasion: Their meeting afforded an opportunity to exchange views.

2. a situation or condition favorable for attainment of a goal.

3. a good position, chance, or prospect, as for advancement or success.

I just hate to see you suffer unnecessarily. I know you can lean on your other advisors like Dr. Mind, of course. I LOVE the support you got from Dr. Body. What a blessed thing.

I'm still amazed at the way you're powering through all this! Keep nourished dear girl. I know that eating has been a real challenge for a number of reasons but I hope you'll be able to get on top of it when you're feeling better...or vice versa?

I just read the following sentence:

"I've learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice."

I believe it's true that "companionable silence" is very relaxing and comforting but, alas...I only have words as we try to connect on the Web.

I hope it helps a little, love, Michal

Psalm 36:7-10 NKJV
How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God!

Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings. They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house, and You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures. For with You is the fountain of life;

In Your light we see light.

Oh, continue Your lovingkindness to those who know You, and Your righteousness to the upright in heart.