Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Monday, November 02, 2009

Not a great night

I've been horribly anxious all day.  I've had as much medication as I can until bedtime.  I'm just frustrated about so many things, I want to cry, and essentially I need someone to talk to.  I read before I came her that daily psychotherapy was part of the program.  Not at all, at least for me.  I've not even had the social worker talk to me about what she's arranged for discharge, meaning that I may have set up counseling appointments and a dr appt during time I'm supposed to be with the psychiatrist.  I really hope that didn't happen.  Ideally I want to see the psychiatrist next Wednesday, when my dose of medication can be increased, but I don't know if they'll want me to wait that long and if I get any choice whatsoever.  The thing is that appointment is not like most people's; I live so far away it's an all day event.  Which makes scheduling hard.
Oh well.  I've cried, I've written about it, I need to move on.


Julia said...

I hope everything looks better to you in the morning...

Thinking of you,

Michal Ann said...

Bless you girl! Sorry if my attempts to cheer you are impossibly clumsy but know FOR SURE that I care!!

Your dilemmas today remind me of the Serenity Prayer.
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
I am confident that you WILL be much happier very soon although every moment of "soon" probably seems like "forever" right now. I pray frustration will be transformed and that peace will reign night and day. Cry out in tears and words to the One who always listens.

You "just want someone to talk to." That's a very reasonable request! I will pray that you will soon have those needed conversations. In the meantime, I'm reminded of a Manhattan Transfer song I've loved since the '70's, "Operator." The song presents a great truth in a cheerful way.

Give me Jesus on the line
I'd like to speak to a friend of mine
Oh prayer is the number
Faith is the exchange
Heaven is the street
And Jesus is His name
Please give me Jesus on the line

If you could get to a computer, I think you'd have fun listening...and it sounds like fun isn't quite as plentiful as grilled cheese sandwiches!

Here's the link to Manhattan Transfer (my favorite):

There's a Sandy Patti version, too. (Women of Faith Conference)