Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Friday, November 13, 2009

I thought I had it made

I've got to quit thinking of every tiny victory as a sign it's all better.

This morning I woke up and thought "hmmm, about time for pills, and a minute later the alarm went off". I never wake easily for those 4 AM pills.

Then I went back to sleep and woke up to a nightmare so frightening I had to take anxiety meds to settle back down.

And eventually I woke up feeling down. I guess I missed today's good part.

I am doing something I think is fairly important for me psychologically. I'm making a list of the things I expected that did not happen in the hospital. With that comes the reminder that I have a lot of complaints, but overall it was a good thing. I just feel like some very important things were left out and often they were things that seemed so basic I didn't expect that it was even possible they wouldn't occur. Hopefully if Dr. Brain sees it she'll be able to help me be more prepared next time.

I'm so tired. I think I'm going to try to nap a while. I do not feel good today and I'm not in the mood to deal with anything.

1 comment:

Michal Ann said...

A restful nap sounds like a very good idea. You've put a LOT of work into writing all these informative posts...not to mention some stress in the night hours.

It's interesting that you glimpsing the good parts of your experience. The puzzle pieces may be coming together to give you a more complete picture...the collage with light and shade...

Let that little light of yours shine...nothing is going to blow it out!

Love, Michal